he wants to bone in the snuggie
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
