Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
