how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
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Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize