she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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