Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
