; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
