His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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