Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
