I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
