So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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