You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
