you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I will be naked everywhere
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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