last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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