just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
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Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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