She's JV to your varsity
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
