why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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