i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
