You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
