so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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