Don't make out with my wife yet
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize