ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
