Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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