Its about making memories worth repressing
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
