Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got inside last night via doggy door
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
