i think i have herpe
just one?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
