totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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