How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize