i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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