my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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