Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
