I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
