Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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