Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
