he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
