I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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