i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
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it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
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I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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