I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
