I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
