haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
