Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize