I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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