like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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