i barfeds in our rink
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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