I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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