I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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