he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize