I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the day after is always just damage control
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
