the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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