I wish i was in the wii world.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
