You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
