My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
