my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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