Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
