All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
