my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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