I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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