Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have post one night stand depression
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
