I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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