listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
