Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
