He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
