The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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