I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
