Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
